I'm an 18 year old college Freshman and I'm stuck in the cliche life stage of "finding myself". I'm well aware I'm not under any expectations to know my life's calling, or to have a set plan for the next however many years. Completely the opposite, I'm sure. First year students aren't expected to declare a major or to have a clue as to what they want out of life. You're set if you can just make it through your first year without succumbing to an overwhelming amount of independence and a WOW subscription. Well, that's what I got out of the orientation lecture at least. These being the expectations, I guess I've met them.
My first semester of college was spent in paradise. Well, that's how the brochures wanted you to think it was. I went to a small school in Florida, about 1400 kids. The college emphasized its heavy Presbyterian influence over and over during opening ceremony. Once the parents had cleared out, it was pretty obvious it was all a front. The school was nothing but drinking, smoking and nonstop partying. I don't drink or smoke, and maybe that's a rant for another day. Needless to say, I was very uncomfortable.
From there, I entered the world of transfer students. I decided I'd change my major from psychology to radiography. [Radiography, not to be confused with Radiology, as in a doctor who works with cancer. Just the tech that takes the x-rays]. Because my parents refused to let community college be an option [neither of them finished school, mind you, and therefore a bachelor's degree in anything, according to my mom, is imperative], I had to find a school which offered a BS in Radiography Technology or something of that sort. There are only about 6 schools in the US that offer that. None of them looked promising. [Did I mention how picky I am? I'm a very picky person.] With deadlines approaching quickly, I picked a school in Missouri and that was the end of that. Or, so I thought... It took about half the transfer student orientation before I tried to redeclare my major to nursing.
I went from being at a super liberal school where half the student body is made up of out of state//international students, at least 50% are atheist or of differing religions and at least 50% were of different races , to a school where 99% of the kids are from Missouri, 97% of them are white and about 98.2% are Christian. I'm neither from Missouri, white [entirely], or Christian. So, again, the cheese stands alone.
Will I eternally be a transfer student? This is where my indecisions come in. I'm battling it out between going back to school in VA, where I'm from, going to school in Puerto Rico, where my dad's from, or just putting a hold on school and joining the Air Force.
Virginia's not appealing whatsoever, but then again, as picky as I am, neither are 48 other states in the country to me. This is how I rationalize the continental US in my head. Sorry to those I offend. It's not intentional.
Northeast - Too cold, too stuck up. South - Two words: Confederate Flag. Midwest - Bible belt, middle of no where. Southwest - Too hot, official language is typically Spanish. This is NOT Mexico last I checked. Anywhere bordering Canada - Too cold. I dislike Mountains. Hawaii - Pretty, but airfare is ridiculous. Virginia - 18 years and I still don't love it. That pretty much leaves me with Florida and California. And the only compelling reasons are warm weather, and a beach. But, Florida's known for it's party schools and California's too liberal for me.
At some point, I just have to suck it up and learn to be okay with it. I'm aware picking a school has to do more with the education than the location, but I don't want to be utterly miserable wherever I go.
And then there's the Air Force. The benefits of the Air Force? Most importantly, if I joined the Air Force, I wouldn't be allowed to change my mind. Dishonorable discharge is not really something I want to be associated with. I also do much better with people telling me what to do. This whole inability to make decisions thing would be resolved with having orders to follow instead. So it's settled then. Join the Air Force. Well, I have to decide if compromising a degree in nursing would be worth it. You can't become a nurse in the Air Force. You have to take your free time and put it towards going to school, which for me is plausible, but I'd have to have a job doing something else in the mean time. Oh yeah.. then there's parents. They aren't too fond of the whole enlisting thing. They're more the, "if you're going to be in the military, you have to be an officer", type people.
So here I am. Indecisive with decisions to make.
No comments:
Post a Comment